Eye Strain

I don't know quite how I got it, but I've had a notable case of eye strain for the better part of a week. Contributing causes we've tracked down so far include dust and mold. (Both are long-standing allergies that tend to make stuff like this worse, if not cause it outright.) Also, I strongly suspect staring intently at the computer screen while playing a particular game, tho I don't feel that this is confirmed quite yet. {lop-sided smile}

I'm now trying to reduce computer time. Cutting out the game is a test of my will-power. So is cutting out the card games and such I like to play. On the other hand, I doubt email will suffer much. LiveJournal, Blogger, and newsgroups might, but I hope not much. I don't want the essentials to suffer; I just want to cut back to them for a while. {Smile}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

Turning 40

The age of 40 has such a terrible reputation, I guess I expected to feel a little different somehow. Never mind that I never felt different on previous birthdays. Never mind that I regularly forget how old I am, so I often have to stop and calculate if somebody actually asks. I still expected to feel different. {Smile}

(Yes, I forget my age. Do you realize how infrequently a woman gets asked her age in modern American culture? At most, I get to answer this a few times a years, and sometimes that's because I brought up the subject. {look UP Giggle, BIG GRIN})

Anyway, I expected to feel a little different somehow. I don't. 40 feels a awful lot like 39 did to me. {BIG SMILE}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

My Holiday Story

My holiday story is at what I think of as the "roughly polished" stage. That means it's about as done as I'm likely to get it now, but if I come back in a few months, I'll find things that my eyes have been just gliding over. {Smile}

So... I shared it thru email with the friends I talk to there, as well as a with a "card exchange" list from a newsgroup I've been trying to frequent again. I also shared it on LiveJournal under a privacy lock. I'm not quite as comfortable as I hoped I would be about leaving it in the open. {Smile}

Unfortunately, a few people I've met here haven't gotten to see it. Now maybe they don't have time. That's fine; I don't have as much time as I'd like, either.

But... {bite lips}

If anyone reading this hasn't seen it and would like to tell me. Between email, LiveJournal, and Open ID, I'm sure we can work something out. {REALLY BIG GRIN}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

Birthday weekend

This past weekend was my birthday weekend. My birthday was actually on Sunday. However, we celebrated it on Saturday, with presents at breakfast and a nice dinner with cake that evening. Sunday just looked to be too busy to squeeze anything else into. {Smile}

Of course, once Sunday came around, every single event that made it looked busy fell thru. So my actual birthday ended up very relaxing indeed. {REALLY BIG GRIN}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

chit chat

Hi Tia! It's good to see you here. {wave, REALLY BIG GRIN}

It's good to see you, too Monkey. You've been AWOL quite a while. {Smile}

I haven't mentioned it much, but I've been working on a story to share with my on-line friends. {Smile} I finished it last week, and just finished copying it into the computer (with initial revisions) tonight. Well, I sort of finished it. It ground to a halt right where I expected it to... with nothing resembling a satisfying ending in the vicinity. So it's now officially looking for further revisions and a decent ending. I'm suspicious that I'm going to end up sharing it with a warning about the lack of an ending. Of course, if it's really a fragment of something longer that I need to work up some day, I'll feel freer to post it in the open. So maybe it works out this way. {Smile}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

Interdependance

I was talking to my friend Liz when the subject of interdependence came up. My feelings on the subject are strong enough, they surprise me when I remember them. They're certainly strong enough to share more widely. {smile}

In my experience, interdependence is absolutely terrifying if I let myself think about it. I am relying on others to support me... and sooner or later they will let me down. It's not a question of whether they'll let me down. They will. No matter how much they want to avoid doing so, they will sooner or later. When they do, I will get hurt. All I can do then is trust in my own ability to heal... if not perfectly, then well enough to carry on. {smile}

{pause}

It's worth it. I can't doubt that. I tried independence when I was younger... boy, that was a bleak and empty time! {rueful smile}

Interdependence may be scary and painful, but it fills my life with the family members and dear friends who make life worth living. Yes, there's pain and fear this way, but there's also joy and love in measures independence could never, ever provide. {WARM SMILE, BIG WARM SMILE}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

Update

Sorry to fall quiet again just when I wanted to do better. {worn smile}

I didn't mention one problem in my last post. I didn't think it was big enough. Dad was on his third day of some quite itchy hives. However, he'd stopped the lettuce that he suspects was chopped by the same equipment that chops spinach. (Yes, he's that allergic to spinach!) Plus he was seeing the doctor in a couple of days about them. So he didn't anticipate much more trouble from them.

He had a lot more trouble anyway. He and his doctor must have tried half a dozen antihistamines on the things. The hives finally faded late last week. {SIGH} The doctor suspects spinach juice in the lettuce too. Apparently once hives get going, they can perpetuate themselves for up to a year. Three weeks... is more than bad enough. {sigh}

At least he seems to be over them now. Also, he doesn't need the elastic bandage on his knee anymore. A taped-on pad is good enough now. {Smile} So Dad's feeling better, tho he's frustrated with how quickly he tires.

I'm feeling much relieved, myself. It's taking a while for life to get back to normal, but it's gradually getting there. {Smile}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

Dad yet again

Dad saw the doctor again. He still should keep his leg up, but he does not have to go back. Also, he may now drive. {pause, sigh}

Thank god. Now maybe life can begin to return to normal. {pause} I hate to complain when Dad has been hurting, and Mom busy keeping everything going, but this pretty totally wrecked what little off-line social life I have. It got bad enough, it was hard not to withdraw online as well. (I do hate when that happens.) I don't think I entirely avoided doing that. {small smile}

I'm hoping things will return to normal soon. {cross fingers, small smile}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

Dad saw the doctor

Yes, Dad saw the doctor early this afternoon. The doctor took a look at the knee, and promptly numbed it up. Then he took out a great big clot. He did not close it up; he wants it to be able to drain if necessary. Apparently the knee has been hurting so much this weekend because it has been continuing to hemorrhage very slowly this weekend.

Anyway, the doctor put on a pressure bandage. He will look at the knee again Thursday afternoon. Dad is resting in his bedroom now. It hurts, but the pressure that he felt isn't there. He's counting that in improvement. {worn smile} What I count as an improvement is the relief I see when I look at Dad. He was pretty tense yesterday, and that's gone. I hope we're past the worst now. {another worn smile}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin

General update

Early this month, the bees were gone from the woodpile. So were over half the termites. So was two thirds of the wood. A couple of days ago, the rest of the termites and most of the rest of the wood followed them. No, we haven't had any bonfires. Dad faced up to reality, and asked our yardman to haul the wood to the dump in his truck. Dad insisted on paying twenty bucks for gas per trip. {smile} The only wood left now is a few old mamani logs. They aren't going to the dump. They seem to be insect free, so the yardman wants them for his woodcarving. Dad's happy to do it. He's {Smile}

Dad fell down in church last Sunday. He saw the doctor Monday, because the left knee was really swollen. He has a hematoma there. It probably needs surgery. Due to a severe doctor shortage in Hawai'i, the surgeon can't see him until Monday. He saw his main doctor again today (Friday), and complained about all the pain. He's been laid up all week. His doctor sent him to a semi-retired orthopedist who doesn't do surgery any more. He was able to remove an ounce of fluid, but the rest of the swelling is a big clot that will have to be removed surgically. Dad's in marginally less pain now. At this point we're hoping that when he finally sees the surgeon on Monday, the fellow won't insist on waiting another week or two to operate. {disgusted look}

I keep praying for Dad. Unfortunately, my prayers have yet to be answered the way I'd like. {small smile}

Anne Elizabeth Baldwin